Always Be Ready For You
by Loverofitall3
Summary: Racer X had always wanted Speed. But when Speed lets X have him, can X let himself Keep him? SLASH. Dnt like dnt read. Lookn for a beta. CONCRIT appreciated considering this is my first Fic evr.
1. Where X And Speed Want Each Other

Okay so this is my very first story ever. Im Dira and i love slash of all kinds. Umm this story is my baby dont kill it plz. help me raise it. Omghee

Disclaimer: i own nothing in speed racer, as much as i hate that.

Chapter 1

Racer X

He couldn't even keep his hands off the kid. Eight years with no calls, no contact, not even a thought of seeing the Racer Family and this one 18 year old kid could bring him to his knees in an instant. X couldn't believe how weak he could be. He fights all types of racing crime, he can take down men twice his size and race like nobody's business but Speed…Speed set him on such an edge he could fall in a minute. He'd always been an aggressive guy, but this was ridiculous. The minute he saw the boy he wanted him. An ache that could only be fixed by the boy himself would set in and he'd spend all night inside of Minx, making the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach branch out further and further but satisfying his need for the moment. He never really went for boys, but Speed Racer could ruin everything. Everything he worked for, everything he hoped racing could become would crash and burn because of him, he just knew it.

X was sprung, that smile that laugh that lean body and sweet little ass in those white racing pants broke his concentration constantly. Speed was going to be the death of him if X couldn't take his eyes off him and put them on the road ahead. No matter what, he had to watch out for Speed and the other drivers. But constantly, his mind drifted to how he'd get the boy in his bed. He wondered if Speed would move with him in sex like he did on the track. How it'd feel to have his legs wrapped around X's waist. He wondered how it would feel to be buried deep insi-

"X! Get your Head on man I almost died then! You getting tired old man, you just let me know! I have to know who's got my back and who doesn't!" Speed sounded angry. X chuckled to himself at the thought of it. He'd love to hear a different kind of yelling maybe a lot more moaning if X ever got his way. The kind that'd let him know exactly how much Speed loved everything X would do to him.

_Guess its gunna' be another night with Minx again. She loves it when I'm edgy, and edgy makes just what this kid is doin' to me that much worse._

Never had he seen anyone drive like Speed, every trick X had taught him and everything he acquired naturally was breathtaking. At the night of the Grand Prix he felt the need to be with Speed stronger than ever. The way Speed acted after a race had his blood burning, he was always so carefree and lapsed of energy, relaxed and unaware of anything but the afterglow buzz. He touches Racer X, although intentionally or not he couldn't tell, but his touch produced almost everything lust could. He looked at X like a lover did right after a round of the most fulfilling and satisfying sex. Speed always basked in the afterglow of a win and that made him desirable to all. That, combined with the raw power that exuded from his every pore, was the most attractive thing about him. His air of confidence but subtle innocence would always hook X in because Speed was always himself. X needed that, needed someone who could be themselves around him, someone who he knew would want him for only him and not because he's a big race car driver of because of the "third leg he had in his pants" as Minx liked to call it. He didn't need Minx, the whore, who lived off his frustration and aggression. He didn't need any of the girls and sometimes guys that'd push themselves on him in the most obvious way and whisper the dirtiest, sometimes appallingly sexual, things imaginable in his ears. He didn't need the people who would want him just to be in a picture with him, or the girls that'd want to get to Speed Racer through him. He needed someone who could match him in everything he does and Speed Racer could definitely do that. He could do it all for X in one night and X would be thoroughly addicted. He'd be addicted to the taste, the smell and the feel of Speed Racer. One night would be all Speed needed to throw X off his game forever. When X got something he'd always wanted he'd do anything to keep it, to have it always. That's what Speed would do to him; he'd make X want unlike anything he'd ever wanted before. Speed could drive him crazy in one taste. Could tear him apart in one word, and repair his entire world in one smile. And X hated it, but he loved it all in the end. Speed made him come alive like no one else could, without even trying.

"X! Come on man, if your heads not in the race get off my damn track!" Speed side sweeps him a little, punctuating his point. "Tell you what X, you make this race worth my while and I'll make it all worth yours, how's that, you like that?"

Only Speed could make something so innocent sound as dirty as possible in that beautiful innocent matter of his. Just the thought had him hard already. Sweet sighs in the night, caresses that would turn into heated and possessive grasps at hips and thighs. Delicious moans X could swallow, dirty words, undulating hips, rough thrusting and helpless little mewls that would drive X to insanity. The looks of utter bliss as X hit that sweet little spot over and over again and the face of an angel in pleasure as Speed finally reached completion all over himself and X's hand. How he'd whimper just a little as X finally emptied himself within the tightness of Speed. Contented breaths and sleepy eyes and lazy smiles turn into tangled limbs in the early morning just to wake up and do it all over again but with a lot more grace. Speed circles him on the cave looking down at X with a wink and a suggestive smirk, the gravity shifters holding him down to the top. Speed knows what he's thinking, always has, guess it's that brother's intuition X could never change no matter what changes he's make to his face. His little brother was messing with him.

_This is gunna' be a long damn day_.

Speed

This guy was going to get him killed; the second Casa Cristo and he thought he knew Racer X better than anyone. But the man was only making the barest necessary moves to keep him from getting trashed and leaving all the hard work to Speed and their new driver in Racer Motors, Emerald Cold. Emerald was a good driver but he needed X's offensive moves to take these guys out. It was like- oh, dare Speed say it-It was like X was distracted. They were coming up to the entrance of Caves and he needed X in the race if they were going to win this. X already qualified for the Grand Prix, actually letting himself beat Speed for once , Speed was re-invited because he also qualified along with the fact he won last year, and they needed Jade in if they wanted a sure chance of Racer Motors getting the prize money. They were a triple threat now, and if they could get passed the three cars no more than 4 meters before them they could take it all home. And if they did lose this race he damn well wasn't going to lose it because X couldn't _pay attention._ What was happening to the guy? He looked up to X, admired X, _lusted_ after X every minute of the day. _**Fucked**_ himself on a 9 inch dildo with X on his mind the _entire_ time! (He almost had to get the size after seeing the **big** _situation _Racer X kept trapped in those black racing pants in the showers after a race. However, no more than 9 inches hoping that if X ever decided a sneak attack on him in the showers he'd still be deliciously tight for him.) The least the guy could do is _pay attention._ Especially with the flirting Speed had been doing after almost every race, which is basically the only time he'd see him. Speed would feel carefree and reckless. Touch X as he passed and throws an innocent smile, inviting X to follow. They'd move into an empty room and relax. Drink, illegally for Speed considering he was still 18, and lay back to look out at the stars from the sky light. Well, Speed would lay back and look at the stars, but X would sit in a chair, remove his mask and gazed at Speed with an uninhibited stare that would go on for an unseeingly odd number of minutes. Speed would almost always ask if X thought it was all worth it. Told X how much he wanted something, but couldn't say exactly what. Just that if he couldn't have "It" Speed would quit. Because "It" was all Speed ever wanted anymore. So X would always respond. If you want "It" go out there and get "It" because no one's ever going to hand it to you. Speed would always then lapse into silence and they'd spend the rest of the night there in that room, X in the chair and Speed on the bed. Their gazes would lock in the silence and until someone came to knock on the door to take Speed home, they'd stay like that. Knowing what the other was thinking, and knowing it could probably never be, but wanting it all the more. Knowing that the world would embrace their relationship with open arms, but that their lives and friendship would forever change, that the easy comfort they had with each other would turn too sexual and a lot more difficult when it came to each others lives. It'd take a major toll on their racing too, worrying more about each other in the big races where even with Royalton in jail the drivers still played dirty, when their minds should always be on the race. Already in this race he could see what was happening to them.

"And I'm the one who needs to pay attention Speed?" The irritation in X's tone was clear. But he had no right to say that.

"What the hell are you talking about? I've been carrying your ass over here while you were out daydreaming! Welcome back, by the way!" He didn't fight with X much about anything, but sexual tensions really get you heated when paired with adrenaline. "Shut the hell up and drive!"

"Calm down Speed, your gunna' get yourself hurt if you don't just calm down. You _are_ on the ceiling for God's sakes. Don't let your head or X get to you." Emerald had a way with words, but X was having none of it.

"Tell your puppy to watch her turns while she's beside me, we'd hate to lose her. And I sincerely doubt she'd place being packed quite thoroughly into all that ice." The irritation had grown. Something was bugging him, Speed acknowledged.

"That's enough X. Sorry Em, he seems to be out of sorts today. I'll deal with him later.." Only Speed could see the tensing of the jaw from above X. X turned on the newly installed private channel that linked him directly to Speed above him.

"If anyone is getting "dealt with" later Speed it'd be you. I may just _deal _with you tonight so that you _may_ not be able to drive tomorrow, much less sit down." The smirk in his voice is evident if not seen.

"Bring it on X…But be careful, I may just like it a lot more than you'd think. Hope you're not gunna' hold out on me either. I think I can handle you. Minx does like to talk a lot about her sexual appetite." They were getting really deep now. A few more words and there'd be no turning back.

"I wonder what she said." A bit dryly.

"Not much, just how long you guys can go, how hard." He pauses "How…big, Why _are _you fucking that whore?" His tone had gone a bit cross. And he knew it.

"She's a release and my easy way out. A distraction from taking what I really want."

"What do you really want, X?" _Tell me it's me._

"You know what I want, Speed. You always have. " The other shoe had dropped. They were never getting away from this one. No ignoring it, no pushing each other away and then coming together after a race to celebrate.

"Why don't you just take what you want?"

"I cannot take what is not mine." That brooding was coming back full fledged. Speed swerved around a stalactite. He had to make this decision.

"What if I were yours tonight, right after this race? I'd give you all of me and take nothing in return"

"You'd let me take all of you, you'd let me fuck you and leave you in the morning? Do you really want it that bad?"

"I need it, always have, even if it's only for tonight." There it was…the jump. Tempting enough for X to tell him to pull over somewhere isolated in the cave and leave Emerald to fend for herself so that he could show Speed exactly what "dealing with him" would entail. Because, to be truthful, with Speed, he would most definitely let himself be selfish for once. He's keep Speed in his room all night, fucking him till they both ached and Speed was raw, because in the morning they may never speak of it again. But he knew it'd never be like this. One taste and he'd be hooked. He already knew it.

"You ready for the consequences?" He needed to know if Speed knew what he was getting into. "I may not ever let you go, you know, that may just happen."

"I think I could live with that." And with that he flicked on the public channel, locked all controls for channel changing, circled down in front of Emerald with X behind her and exited the cave. _I've always been ready for you._

Beautiful-Eminem


	2. Super Drawn out Sex Scene

Chapter 2 

Disclaimer: I once again own nothing...so sad too. Who knows what else i could make these boys do in a MOVIE!

Speed

They'd slammed Emerald into First almost quite literally. With the other two cars on their tails they had to think twice. After the race, Speed looked for Racer X but could find the elusive man nowhere. To say he was disappointed would be an understatement. He walks back to his room that he got himself for a little privacy passing Racer X's door without much of a thought due to his exhaustion. He opens his door leaning back against it and feels the entire day crashing down on him. He heads to the shower for a long scrub and a relaxation period. Maybe a little fun time with Little Speed considering how much he'd thought about what it would have been lie to be with X for the night. He finishes with out the attention paid to his lower anatomy and walks out of the bathroom in to the dark of his room a little cold due to him not picking out a towel. As he pulls on his boxers he's almost scared shitless as a pair of arms wrap around him from behind him and a hard body presses up against him. He recognizes the scent of X even before he speaks.

"You're not going to need those much longer. I'd hate to have to dirty a perfect pair of boxers. You rethink this yet?" He moved his hands down Speed's flat stomach. Making circles that won't let Speed even think about speaking. His hands move lower, dipping below the waistline but not touching Speed's hardening dick. Speed reaches behind him and loops his arms around X's neck giving him full range of his body and whines when X outlines him through the cotton that he'd just put on. The hardness pressed tightly against his ass jerks in response. Speed's glad he's not the only one affected by this. X pushes the boxers off of Speed and turns him around.

Speed Personal POV

_He doesn't know how long I've waited for him. That pull I'd had toward him last year when I thought he was my brother has only quadrupled in size. I wonder how he's going to take me. Up against a wall maybe? Or maybe on the bed, with me on top or him? God this was frustrating. I've never had any sex before other than my dildo, and even then it was only when he was extremely horny after a race when he wasn't with X. The way he touches me is like I'll fly away. Grasping onto me and I love it._

"We're going to have to move this or I'll fuck you on the floor.

Speed

Speed couldn't think. All he did was feel. He felt the lips tongue and teeth and the hips beneath his thighs as they had wrapped around X as they moved to the bed. His erection sliding again X's making them both groan their appreciation. X threw Speed down on the bed where he writhed and spread his legs like a whore waiting for X to take him like he needed to be taken. X took the lube of the side table where he put it when he came into speed's room and laid it on the bed for using later. Right now he wanted a taste of the boy and he needed it now. X bit and nibbled at Speed's skin earning him mewls as he worked his way down tongue dipping into speeds navel until he could breathe hot moist breath onto the tip of speed's dick. Watching it jerk and flush darker. If possible X believed it grew harder as well. X mouthed the tip and slip the tip of his tongue along the slit before beginning to suck on the head. He worked his way down teasing Speed to the brink of insanity before he had enveloped the entire shaft into his moth and letting the head rest in the back of his throat all while holding Speed's hips down. He worked his way down further to kiss Speed's balls and further down still lifting Speed's legs over his shoulders. He spread the soft cheeks aside and Speed spread his wider so that X could kiss the puckered entrance. He slowly teased it with the tip of his tongue and speed spread his legs wider with a moan. X lapped at Speeds dusky hole opening it up for something much bigger.

Speed couldn't believe he was doing this. It was so dirty and gross and it felt so good speed couldn't think any longer and just pulled his legs up to his chest and let X work.

X added a finger into Speed who loosened up pretty nicely. If X hadn't known Speed had never had sex with a guy, he'd have suspected Speed of being experienced. Speed must be a little whore in his own room, because something had definitely been inside him before, something bigger than fingers too. He forced himself not to think about speed lying in the middle of his bed shoving a sexy little dildo into him, making the sweetest of noises as he fucked himself on the fake dick. X squirted the lube right into Speed's open hole which earned him another small whine from the boy above him. If Speed kept this up X wasn't going last.

Speed was close and they hadn't even gotten started. This felt better than any dildo could, no matter how big. That agile tongue swirling around his ring and dipping into him had driven him crazy. Then, the lube being shot directly into him made him feel so dirty, knowing that his hot little hole was open enough for the liquid to go in freely. He felt like X's whore. But no matter how he tried to stifle them he couldn't stop the sounds coming from him now. By now all three of X's fingers where gone and the blunt head of his dick was at his entrance. Speed had thought to mention a condom, but then the man above him circled the head around his rim and all thoughts of anything else were lost. Speed had waited months for this moment for months. Could never get it out of his head how exactly he had wanted to be taken by X. Speed realized that X had stopped and opened his eyes to see X looking down at him with an expression that made his stomach knot and his heart beat fast than before. He squirmed at the end of X's dick trying to hurry him on feeling the tip catch on his slackened entrance. When Minx had said he was big, she had understated just a bit. The man above him had a cock that he was sure would split him open. It looked thicker and about an inch and a half longer than the dildo he'd used at home. Just the thought of something obscenely big inside of him got him hotter. Pre-cum had just pulsed from him at the thought. He needed to be fucked. He needed it now; he'd beg for it, X couldn't stop now.

"_Please"_

X

_That's it. Let me know you want it as much as I do. Let me know that in the morning I can't blame this on you being a hormonal teenager who wanted a quick fuck. Don't' let me let you go._

And X was in. Slowly letting gravity take charge and sink into the hot slick heat of Speed. He had needed the plea. He had needed Speed to look at him. What he saw in that Speeds eyes had almost made his heart break. To know that X would be gone in the morning mainly because X couldn't let himself stay was killing him. However, all thoughts of anything beyond the moment he bottomed out in Speed's ass and exactly how Speed's expression had turned from brief pain at the stretch of entry to satisfaction as he was filled. Speed was unnaturally tight for him to open up so quickly, but X guess Speed had learned a trick or two because Speed suddenly clamped down on him. If he kept this up X couldn't promise him he'd last very long. Speed moved again frustrated that there was no movement and X stilled him.

"Stop now, if you want this to last." His grip on Speed's hips had tightened and he knew the guy would have bruises. But it was mostly Speed's fault anyway for being such a tight and sexy fuck. And after a moment he finally began to move. Pulling all the way out until the head caught Speed's hole and thrust back in. Hard.

Speed

Speed really loved it now. X had found exactly where his prostate was and tortured it with his brutal thrusts. Speed was high on it, reaching levels of pleasure he'd never done for himself. The Hot shaft thrusting into him making him tremble and whimper in absolute ecstasy, if X kept this up, he may just die. He'd had his arms around X's neck but his nails were now raking down the older man's back. X would have marks but he didn't seem to mind at the moment, the momentary pain probably making him hotter. Speed constantly arched up to meet X, kiss him in a mixture of hot breath, long moans and tongue. Nothing else mattered at the moment. Just X and Speed having the most incredible sex either has ever had.

X

X reared up onto his knees bringing Speed with him, letting Speed ride with him, burying his face into speeds neck and holding onto him for dear life. Speed had opened his leg wider to get a brace and ride X like the whore he was. Speed fucked himself on X, not like moving and sliding softly like any other coupling X had had. Speed was barely just legal anyway, the way he moved on the track and in this bed should be outlawed in general. X had had enough of it, Speed wanted to be fucked and that's exactly what he'd get. X pushed him down while still on his knees. He grabbed Speed by his hips and fucked into him, going deeper then before and hitting untouched territory. Speed ran his fingers down X's chest enjoying everything X did to him constantly making the most delicious noises that X had ever heard.

Speed

Speed needed to touch X, Needed to be grounded somehow. He couldn't let fly away. He needed to at least be lucid enough to tell X to stay the night with him. He didn't care if X would attempt to walk out, he'd block the door keeping X in his room, wouldn't do much considering the man was a friggn' super hero, but he'd at least get his point across. He was so close now and X was too because he let go of Speed's ass, grabbed his hands and hel them over his head while coming down to roughly thrust into him. Speed had had enough. His senses where overloaded and the cock inside of him was amazing, he wanted it to last he reall did but his body let got. Everything inside of him coiled and he shot his life out of his balls. A few thrusts later he could feel the slick burning hot wetness flood into him as X came as well, making him feel unnaturally complete. X collapsed on top of him still inside of him and it wasn't long before they bothe retreated to their blissful sleep tangled in each other.

Before they succumbed to sleep, they both wondered what life would be like if they got used to this.

Song; Jar of Hearts- Christina Perri


	3. Where X Fucks It Up SMH

Author's note: Thanks K for being my first reviewer! U actually motivated me to finish this chapter. I know they say reviews take time, but whew! So thanks once again! This chapters for you

Disclaimer: Don't own anything in the Speed Racer Universe!

Chapter 3

_Shit_

He had overslept…simple as that. He'd had mind blowing sex with Speed Racer, passed out like a girl, and over slept. He didn't have time to really think about it until he heard a sleep husky groan and felt that perfect little body stretch out beside him. He had to suppress a groan himself as Speeds rubbed his hands all over Him. He wondered if Speed was too sore to have morning sex, but simply dismissed the idea considering he was suppose to have quietly left the bed sometime earlier in the wee hours of the morning. But when the time came to get up, the feel of Speed in his arms, lying there deliciously soft and warm lulled him back into a deep sleep. He reckoned Speed had gotten up sometime earlier to clean them off because there were no signs of last night's activities on him now. Speed had just settled again when the hotel alarm blared and Speed was an automatic rush of movement in under a second. Before X could comprehend what was going on, Speed was in the shower. He'd thought briefly that it'd be nice to join him, but pushed that thought aside as Speed came out again just as he did last night in nothing but a towel on. Before he could think on that, he walked into Speeds bathroom and took a shower too. He could walk back to his own room later with a robe on and with out being seen. However, if he looked at Speed any longer his frame of mind would be shot by the time he made it to the airport. They had the Grand Prix in a few days, and he needed to get his head in the race. No screwing around with Speed anymore, he told himself he couldn't stay with Speed and he meant it. Speed ruined his focus completely; he couldn't let that happen anymore.

_I've got what I wanted, I can leave now._ As harsh as it sounded to X in his own mind, that's the only thing that kept him from thinking into what they had done last night. So he showered, letting the hot water pound on his back, relaxing him, and steadying him. He only allowed himself five minutes considering Speed's alarm was set to wake them up at the very last minute which is probably why Speed was up so quickly. He turns off the water grabs a towel and walks out of the bathroom and right into a pacing Speed. They look at each other for a moment, each expression carefully guarded.

"You're leaving." It's a statement X was prepared for. X gives a nod, answering the unasked question. Speed's eyes narrow slightly and his jaw tenses, his entire body tensing. "Don't."

He attempts to step around Speed but is blocked. "Speed" He draws put the name, a warning that Speed's not taking seriously. "We talked about this."

Speed

"Not really, we only agreed to have sex, big difference." Speed was getting irritated. He had moved on autopilot for a whole ten minutes. Got up, showered, got dressed, but now he was thinking. Now was when he started analyzing, when he started remembering how he felt about X. And when the man came out of the bathroom fresh as a daisy and relaxed while Speed was stressing over the smallest details of last night, he felt a sense of calm come over him. Like the calm before the storm. Speed recognized this in himself. It was the same thing he felt while racing against Cannonball Tailor. That same sense of reckless yet calculated anger he had developed at last years Casa Cristo when he was fed up with all the dirty racers. The same calculated reckless anger that won him most of his races. He fought against every impulse inside him to start throwing dirty, sarcastic and mean remarks, in favor of it not really getting him anywhere. So he distanced himself from it all, gave X his blankest look and began dealing with this.

"Speed, I don't have time for this." He didn't have time for this? He didn't have fucking time for this? Speed had given all of himself last night. He knew that he'd ask for nothing in return but the man could at least acknowledge his feelings in the matter. Speed was tearing up inside and he wasn't trying to let X see it, but his façade must have been cracking because he could feel the heat in his face. X didn't care, he'd had sex with lots of people, he did one night stands on a regular basis, he didn't care that Speed's heart was on the line here, for him it'd just been another ass in another bed. To realize that he was just another cheap fuck to X just about broke him. He moved out of X's way and over to the window, Speed felt X come up behind him.

"Speed…Speed look at me." He tried to touch Speed but he was having none of it. He was hurting and the last thing he needed rite now was the one hurting him to be ordering him around. X sighed and he could feel the older man's heat against him. As much as he craved it, he refused to move back into X. He didn't want to get his hopes up for intimacy if X was going to leave soon anyway. X touched the skin where Speed's shirt had ridden up when Speed had nervously run his fingers through his hair. The contact sparked Speed's temper and he spun around to push X back several feet.

"Get Out! Get the hell out now!" X had attempted to push him further but X had grabbed his wrists and pushed Speed against the nearest wall.

"What the hell has gotten into you?" He whispered the words but they were heard loud and clear.

"You, don't you remember? Or am I just too much of an easy lay that you can't recall who was under you last night?" Speed was angrier than he'd been his entire life now. His feelings were shot to hell. His ass hurt, his heart hurt, his head hurt, everything hurt and the one guy who'd hurt him more than anyone in his entire life without saying a word, was right in front of him. He was damn well going to let everything out. If X didn't care, neither did he.

"I gave you all of me you bastard," The tone was soft but strong. "I gave you all of me and you don't care, do you? You got what you wanted; now you're going to leave."

X

As many times as he'd said that in his head over the last 10 minutes, it hurt a hell of a lot more when Speed said it. He cared, he really fucking cared. Last night had taken him over an edge he couldn't even pretend to jump back over. No matter how many times he tried to walk out in the span of these 10 minutes, he couldn't. Speed just looked as dejected, lonely and angry as all hell. He couldn't live with the thought that that's his fault. He'd let Speed hit him and yell at him and do whatever other seemly thing to him if it made him feel better. He'd fix it, if he could, but some things just can't be helped. He couldn't let himself be with the younger man, there where already too many people out there in the world that wanted him dead, he could never share that fat target on his back with Speed, if something ever happened to him…well lets not worry so much about that. He also can't let Speed distract him, because when they get out there on the track or in that race, his main job is to make sure that he's got the back of all the "good" racers out there, but if all he's worrying about is Speed, his job would never get done. He, as Racer X, could never let that happen. It may be that my job is more important than my love life, but others have to see how badly I want to protect my little brother. Because even though he doesn't know it, I'll always put him above all. This is why I should have never gotten so close, why I should have never gotten involved in the beginning.

_Come on X, no time to fall for him, you'd never get over him._

"If you not going to go, then I am. I've got better things to do with my life, like a plane that I need to catch to the Grand Prix in the next hour." Speed didn't give a damn right now and X knew it. He pushed away from the wall and away from X physically and emotionally. He grabbed him things, shoved them in a duffle and walked out, X watching him from the wall the whole time. When he was gone is the only time X allowed himself to leave.

_Nice going, asshole, you let the one person you actually want more than anything walk out that damn door on you. To be who you are, you really need to think sometimes._

It was necessary, and X always did what was necessary.

Love Drunk- Boys like Girls


	4. The After Math: Speed

**Oh crap…my absent-minded ass predictably forgot all about this story. So effn sorry but, School's opted kicking to stuffing it's huge foot up my ass and keeping it there…and in the non-pleasurable way at that.**

**Whoever said being smart was a gift never took his head out of his dick hole long enough to actually look at how much effn work I have to do on a daily basis. Stupid fucker…**

**But anyway…back to the story!**

**BTW! I went back and read what I had written n I SWEAR TO GOD I cannot believe I wrote all that! DAMN! ESPECIALLY THT SEX SCENE! SMH well lets just hope there's more to come.**

**This is a short one guys, not really edited because I'm in a rush, only Speed's POV. Ill write more tomorrow.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Speed

So all he had to do was get to the Grand Prix without breaking down in the middle of the air port…he could do that, he really could.

_Or maybe not_.

Speed had no time to think about that possibility at the moment. He needed his head straight, even if the race was hours away. He put all thoughts of Racer X out of his mind as the flight attendant winked at him.

_Well, they sure do make those uniforms shorter and shorter. And those shirts really do seem to be tighter in first class._ _I'm hot, young and I've got it all, why waste it on the __**one**__ man who __**doesn't**__ want me. _

He found Emerald a few seats down, her dark green and white blonde hair pushed over her shoulder as she stared forlornly out the window.

"I'm gonna' miss it here." She's not looking at him, but he knows or a fact she's talking to him. She's wearing a deep emerald long sleeved v-neck and a white skirt. To Speed it seemed like she had put effort into her appearance today, not that she dresses bad. She just never wore anything other than shapely jeans and a pullover hoody. Her IPod, however, still as ever-present as always, was sitting innocently on the table before her.

When they'd first met, a few months ago, he'd found her to be a very attractive girl, but as time went, he took her on as a little sister and she had accepted the quick family considering she had none of her own.

"What happened last night Speed?" She'd also always been too perceptive for her own good. One of the many gifts Mother Nature decided to bestow upon the 22 year old. "And don't play dumb with me; I see it in your eyes, your face." She chuckles, but stops to look at him for a moment. "The things people think they can hide form me. It never worked with my family before they died and it won't work with you. Something happened when you went back to your room… was it X? He wasn't in his room last night, was he in yours?"

"Em, look, stop-"

"No! I will not drive with my team in chaos. You, Me, X, we always pride ourselves on stability, on how well we work as a **team**." She got up to pull him down next to her from where he had been standing in the middle of the aisle. Her look was intense and purposeful, and so full of love, he knew there was a reason he called her family. "You're unstable, now tell me what happened." She may have been whispering but Speed most defiantly heard it all.

_Seems like she and X have something in common_

"It's nothing, seems like I got myself into more than I bargained for. Mom always told me my eyes where bigger than my head."

"I think she meant bigger than your stomach, but that's not the point. Tell me what happened."

So Speed relayed the entire story to her, the plane took off and was high in the sky by the time he'd finished. He told her from the very beginning, every thought, every feeling. Every time he'd looked at X and got hard. Every after race party they'd attended where the sexual tension had built more and more. He'd told his little sister, his only sister, when it all came to a screeching halt that gave him whiplash of the heart. And she'd listened, and she hadn't commented on anything, not even the sordid details of how he'd been fucked through the mattress, and loved it. When she went to sleep for the next few hours of the ride, he'd ventured into the bathroom, which had a built in shower only available for the Racer Team. The remaining marks of his and X's lovemaking evident on every part of him, the emotional suffering he'd bared in less than 48 hours, the sheer agony he wouldn't let himself feel this morning came crashing down on him. It made his knees weak and his heart hurt, the twinges he'd been dealing with in his ass had nothing on the utter _**hurt**_ he felt now. He'd been touched by X, loved by him. His chest ached too much to remember how he'd been in X arms no less than 16 hours ago. His mind couldn't take the rejection while his heart finally burst to smithereens and he sank to toilet seat.

He was stronger than this. He knew it. He'd survive this, X was only one man.

_But X was everything, he was breath and smiles and love and warmth. How the hell do you go on living with the very man who broke your heart?_

Before he let his self pity go but so far, he pulled himself together and pulled out his robe to place it by the shower stall. However, even after he convinced himself okay.

He jumped into the shower and let the silent tears fall.


End file.
